I am full of burrito and curiosity
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
