not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
