So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
