I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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