All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
