In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
