I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
