At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
