Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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