i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
