So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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