I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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