I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
