wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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