You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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