My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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