2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
