my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We are all done wearing pants today
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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