honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
