I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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