Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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