Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
