Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
