Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
