I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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