Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
