I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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