I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
