check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
