I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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