farters have to be the big spoon...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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