u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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