No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
