I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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