hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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