Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
