ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
