I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
