This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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