i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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