Since when is my name a synonym for head?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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