Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
