Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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