Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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