i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
