T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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