Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.