Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.