she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now