2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.