if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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