fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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