I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
