thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
