Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
