We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
