There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
