I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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