I just saw a hot homeless man
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
