can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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