Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
