he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
