JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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