Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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